Job Opening

I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 28 years old, happily married and I have a good job. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.

Rain rain don't go away

I was going to go running with Mrs Legs this morning, however the weather had decided that it would keep us indoors. As much as I truly do enjoy being outside in the cold rain, with a thin layer of clothes on, I had to pass. Instead we decided to stay in and have breakfast together. I'm not a cereal person, but that is all she had in the house. From where I was sitting I had a perfect view of her bending over to grab the box out of the cabinet. I don't know if she did it intentionally for me or not, but she bent over at the hips, her legs slightly farther than shoulder length apart, giving me a perfect view.

I'm not sure what came over me but I told her not to move, and to just stay there. I ran to the other room, grabbed a condom from out of my bag, tearing my clothes off as I went. I ran back into the kitchen completely naked trying to put the condom on a not yet ready dick, which was a completely futile effort. I turned the corner into the kitchen and she is sitting there pouring milk into the cereal. My spur of the moment plan didn't quite work.

Standing there naked for some reason was the most embarrassing feeling. I was completely out of touch with her intention for that moment. I had taken her display of the female anatomy for a sexual advance, and she was trying to make breakfast. It killed the moment and I sat down and tried to crack a joke. I just sat there, naked, and I could tell she was trying not to laugh at me. Our discussion drifted toward some markings that my wife had left on my chest in a from our drinking adventures this weekend.

After we ate I grabbed the bowls, walked over to the sink and started to clean them. As soon as the water was on I felt her kiss my butt, and start to slide her hand up the my inner thigh. She grabbed me hard, cupping my balls in her hand as she stroked my cock with her fingers. It got me hard. She continued to kiss my ass as she started to stroke me from bellow.

I motioned for her to stand up, and she continued to kiss me as she worked her way up my back. One had found it's way around my waist to my penis, the other started to play with my nipple. She just rested her head on my back and caressed my chest, teasing me with her fingers. Then she dug her nails deep into my skin and dragged them across, almost from one shoulder to the other. I really enjoy some light pain during sex, but with a mistress it isn't usually an option, the markings already on my body gave her permission to make more.

I lifted her up onto the island in the middle of her kitchen and climbed on it with her. While I fucked her she kept running her nails across my chest and back telling me that she really enjoyed doing that, and she wished that she could do it more often. She started to talk real dirty saying thing that truly surprised me, and her words were enough to make me cum for her.

I ran out of the house an hour later, she really did a number on me, and later in the day some of the markings were far more noticeable than expected. I think I'll just have to wear a shirt to bed for the next few days.

TMI Tuesday #158 - Firsts!!!

First names and approximate age is fine too many of you aren't anonymous and too many of you wish to stay anonymous.

1. Who and when was your first crush?

Esse, and she lived down the street from me

2. Who and when was your first date?

Esse again, I think I took her out for pizza

3. Who and when was your first kiss?

You probably guessed it, Esse again. We climbed into a tree, I had her close her eyes and hold out her hands and I went in for it. Stupid me I closed my eyes too, missed her mouth and stuck my tounge in her nose. I fell out of the tree. Anyway we climbed back up to try, try again.

4. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in car?

Not Esse on this one. It was Jewelz, on our way to woodstock 99. She started out with a hand job while I was driving, then we stopped on an access road to continue the job.

5. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in a house?

Esse yet again. In her house, in my house friends houses, I was young dumb and full of cum.

6. Who and when was your first love?

Puppy love it would be Esse, we started together at 11, and spent a whole lot of time together for the next 5 years, on and off. The problem was that we were way too young, immature, stupid, and our lives just went in completely different directions. With Esse it was puppy love. After Esse I met Jewelz, we dated on and off for a few years. I was in love with her.


Bonus: Who's blog did you first comment on?

Damned if I know

Honk if you're Horney

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14 steps to a good affair

A long time ago I set myself some ground rules.

1. Marriage first - don't get emotionally attached to anyone else. If you feel you are going too far over the edge cut the affair off.

2. She needs to loose as much as you - Try and find someone who is in the same boat (married, kids, house, career etc). This is almost an insurance policy that guarantees that discretion will be kept by both people.

3. Cover your tracks - This is what gets most people in trouble. Create a new secret email account make up something random. Make the password hard too, use a long password for everything, with a combination of letters, numbers and special characters, for example '1DietSoda4$-'. Use Google chrome in porn mode! How many people do you think were caught because their spouse looked up their Internet history, porn mode pretty much eliminates that, and don't forget to log out every time you walk away anyway. Don't use AIM, it stores conversations, and even if you log out there is a chance that a conversation will pop back up. If you do feel the need to save pictures, put them in a random folder wherever you store your porn, that way it looks like downloaded porn.

4. Don't use your credit card - You will get a credit card bill in the mail, pay in cash, some hotels require a credit card, do your best not to give it to them, go to a different hotel. Some people also use pre-paid credit cards, I have no experience with them, but it seems like a good idea.

5. Don't use your cell - Get a cheap disposable pay as you go cell. Spend the $25, if it is ever found, the best excuse is that you found it, then get rid of it. If you text or call on your regular phone the bill will come in the mail, the texts will be seen, the pictures will be seen, the numbers will be called.

6. Get a PO box - If you need to get a bill for anything, get a PO box, it's cheap, like $35/yr, have them sent there.

7. Feel her out first - every first meeting should be somewhere public, coffee shop or a book store, something along those lines. It gives you an out if you feel uncomfortable or you don't like her.

8. Don't talk about it - vent somewhere anonymous, go to a catholic church and into the confession booth. Priests don't talk just be careful because if they see you in the supermarket they will suggest you go to marriage counseling, true story.

9. Pictures last - Don't take any pictures of you and her. They have a habit of surfacing later. Words are easy to dispute, pictures aren't. If in correspondence with a potential surrogate wife, you decide to exchange pictures, make sure the picture doesn't include your face, or any distinguishable marks on your body. Don't try and crop pictures either, the data is still there if you know where to look, take the picture missing your head, put some tape over any markings, make the picture physically unidentifiable as you. With the ink on my body any picture I would send looks like almost like a black blob. Plus I cover a few added areas just to be safe and make it look like it's not me.

10. Be safe - There is nothing worse than your wife telling you she has VD, except she hasn't been sleeping around, so where did you get it from? I always use protection, and luckily this has never happened to me, but the danger is there.

11. Be transparent with your alibi - Your alibi is the key. I do my best to tell the truth, minus a few details. I'll say something like "I'm going out for a ride on my bike, be back in a few hours". I just didn't say where I went or with who. Also make sure your details are straight, and you know what you did, don't give too many details unless you have too, the more intricate the story is, the more you will make a mistake or forget something.

12. Don't be too anxious - If you take every opportunity to meet with the other woman you will be pushing your luck. If you are going out for a long time, come home early once in a while, if your wife wants you to stay in, don't blow her off, stay in.

13. Clean yourself - Take a shower, take two, use soap. Sex smells, it smells like sex. It is a distinct smell, and if you didn't have sex with your spouse that day and you smell like sex, the question is why, and it isn't a question that you want to answer. I take a shower after sex every time. If I'm at home it might be the next morning but I do, sometimes I even take a shower just because, on an average day I shower three or four times a day.

14. Plan B - I keep a gift for my wife in the garage. If my location is ever questioned I will present that present and turn the tables. "I was out buying you a nice surprise gift! How dare you question where I was!". It's a great out, it gives you a story, and it gives you a place, and it makes her not wonder were you were.



The biggest thing that you really need to know is that discretion is the key, keep your secrets secret, keep the secrets of others secret, know their intent, and cover your back before you walk out the door.

My random thoughts of the week

Halloween is fast approaching, and I spent almost half the day naked in my house sitting around a coffee table with my wife. No sex, but we did carve a few pumpkins. This one is my favorite. The picture doesn't show the detail that is actually in it. I cut up a clothes hanger to make the staples. The eyes are round pumpkin pieces cut out of another pumpkin and shoved in there. The teeth are rounded and shaped to look like real teeth and the small pumpkin just took a bunch of work.

Old Flames Die Hard

I went out to a small motorcycle event this morning (thank you Al Roker for making it rain). While I was there I bumped into and old mistress who I hadn't seen in about a year and a half. Our relationship was mutually ended on good terms, mostly because it was very hard to make our schedules work, and her husband started to look into her away time.

It was great to see her and catch up, even better than that her marriage is going great and she just had a baby a few months back, and she just found out this week that she is pregnant. Before I go on, no the first one is most definatly not mine, the time line doesn't work out and I've been shooting blanks for a while now.

Anyway we got a chance to go for a walk away from the crowd, just the two of us. Hew husband wasn't far but he was in his own world. We did get some alone time and we were able to talk openly about the what we have been up to since we saw each other last. Our talk ended with a small kiss and we each went our own direction.

I didn't speak to her again all morning, even though I did catch her looking at me a few times. I just responded with a smile and returned to whatever I was doing.