I did a good-ish deed

I went away last week for work, and lo and behold I went out to dinner with a work friend who decided that I needed to hear every problem in her marriage. Over the course of dinner and a few drinks after she told me everything that was wrong with it. To be honest I spent the entire time trying to figure out a nice way to tell her to shut up and lets go back to our respective rooms and go to sleep for the night. But, to my dismay I just could not find a nice way to tell her that I wasn't interested. The life she described reminds me of Mrs Seduction of Infidelity, except she had larger and more serious marital issues, mostly due to a serious lack of communication on both their parts, and the fact that he completely ignores her. I've always done my best to avoid giving advice, for two reason, first off I suck at it, and secondly I don't want to be responsible.

She kept asking for my thoughts, to the point that I felt so bad for her that I told her she needed to just get another boyfriend on the side. Incidentaly it also came out that they both had cheated on each other, and both found out before the others infidelity. Like I said they really need help. Toward the end of the conversation she had asked me to go back to her room to grab some work related items before we both fly home the next day.

I follow her back to her room, and we finish off a small bottle of whisky that she had sitting in the room, and as I get ready to leave I put my hands on her shoulder and start to rub them real quick while I say goodbye. That was my mistake I should have just left and walked out, but instead I listened to her tell me how goo it felt.

She is an attractive person, and very cool to talk to, but all the baggage that she brought with her was just a complete turn off for me. Instead I just kept massaging her shoulders while I contemplated my escape. Then I notice that one hand is rubbing a breast, the other lightly caressing her inner thigh. Usually a situation like this is a complete turn on for me, except I didn't want to be there, but I didn't stop. Instead I leaned in and started to kiss her neck, and I let my hands find their way around her body. Caressing her breast and unbuttoning her pants I got her worked up, and she led me to the bed while we both undressed.

The next thing that happened should have sealed the deal for me, but being very drunk I ignored it and kept going. The worst turn off I can think of is unkempt pubic hair. She did trim the edges, I'll give her that but it was long and needed to be trimmed.

I did get into bed with her and over the course of the next few minutes I was able to enter what is possible the best feeling vagina I have ever felt, (minus the hair) for this reason and this reason alone did I stay the night. She really did feel good and she knew how to use her body. In fact I would say that the intercourse could have been great. After our first time she asked me if I mind her call me by her husbands name. It bothered me but I said yes and we had sex again.

In what could be possibly the most fucked up sexual experience of my life she talked to me like I was her husband, using his name. The entire time her eyes closed. I could only think that she was imagining her husband above her not me.

After we were done, we lay there in bed while she made believe I was her husband, and I played along until we both fell asleep.

The next morning we did sit down and talk about the need for both of us to keep this just between the two of us. In fact i think she was more nervous about the possibility of being caught than I was. She kept apologizing to me for seducing me and telling me that she was sorry for making me cheat on my wife.

Looking back on it, I should have just gone back to my room and called it a night, but she did say that she felt great and she thanked me for playing along. She told me that for just one night she felt like her life was still perfect. That comment made me feel good, like I did something good for her. I'm not really sure what to make of it, because I really didn't enjoy myself other than the fact that when I left her room that morning, she had a glow about her that I'd never seen in her before.

The mishaps of my sexual life - Part 2

Continuing my very boring (sexually) week away from home, today was no exception. I went out to a professional dinner where I was able to hobnob with some fairly important people. I had low hopes for the night and have resigned myself to going home tomorrow horney and alone. I did see the light at the end of the tunnel today, after dinner a few of us went out to a local bar for a few extra drinks, then on the way home from the bar a few less of that group stopped at a liquor store for a few beers, and then we preceded up to her room. What I had heard her say as let's go up to my room and play poker, sounded in my head let's go up to my room and have some fun. Apparently it really meant lets go up to my room and play some poker, which we did until she decided that it was bed time and I left.

Tomorrow sounds like it will turn out fun. My wife will be picking me up from the airport, and she says that she has a surprise for me...

I will fill in the void with another bad sexual encounter. This one isn't nearly as bad as the last one I wrote about, but it could have easily put me in more trouble than I would care to ever need to deal with.

The first time I slept with VJ.

She had invited me to take her out, and at the time we hadn't seen each other in a long time so I jumped at the chance to see her. Since she still lives with her parents (a big thank you to her dead beat ex husband/baby daddy who doesn't support them) I had to deal with that first hurdle, which wasn't too bad. We have known each other since high school, and I had slept over her house back then, in a very innocent fashion, so I was already familiar with them.

They still gave me the third degree, where are you going, what are you doing, when are you going to be back.

We are going to the bar then to the back seat of my car, your daughter, and when I am done, in that order.

We went out to a small local bar, nothing special, the type of place that you need to watch out where you sit because it could be Bob's seat, which he hasn't left in the past eight years. That type of bar. A few drinks, enough to get reacquainted, but not enough to get drunk and we made a quick exit. I was being very picky about where to take her after the bar. We had already made our intentions very clear as to what activities we would be participating in, and I was on a mission to find a nice private, secluded place where we could be alone.

I finally did find a place, in a dimly lit empty parking lot, near the beach. Neither of us wasted any time removing our clothes, and within seconds we were naked, our hands groping and grabbing each other. I went down on her and she eagerly returned the favor. In fact her oral skills were amazing, and she was able to give me a memorable blow job, good enough to get me to cum within a few minutes. It was so warm in the car that i had to open the windows to let some air in.

Lucky for me (rather my ego) I was able to get it back up without a break in the action. For round two we dove straight into the sex. Over the course of the next hour we mush have tried every position in the Karma Sutra that was even remotely possible in the back of a car. Front, back, top bottom, upside down, inside out. There were hands and feet on every surface in the car pushing and pulling.

Toward what would become the end of our sexually charged back seat romp I had her laid across the seat with me on top. Through the front window I though I could see a light in the distance, but I ignored it. I had noticed a few random cars pull in and out of the parking lot while we were there, and I dismissed this one as being no different. Except this one was. It didn't stop and turn around like the rest, it slowly came closer until the drivers window was a foot away from my window. When I realized that this car kept coming closer I froze, got as low as I could with her under me and stopped making any noise.

Then he talked.

"What are you doing in there son?"

My response has turned into a classic line between VJ and myself, and we refer to it on a regular basis.

"Uh, well officer, pretty much what it looks like"

I'm pretty sure that he could see my naked ass sticking up. I couldn't see him, his flashlight was pointing right in my face, blinding me. He gave me the order to get out of there, and I wasn't about to argue.

We wound up going out to another bar near her house and a few more drinks before I finally made the trek home. I only realized after what could have happened. Trying to explain an indecent exposure ticket would not have been good for me.

The mishaps of my sexual life - Part 1

So this week is turning out pretty much like the last one. To be blunt, I ain't gettin none! I am away again for work, this time in the wonderful south, my wife is home, and I am alone. I did have plans to have a friend over, but she hasn't called me back since I told her I would be staying near her last week. She asked me to call her when I got in, but she has not answered or called me back.

We did sleep together once, and it was mostly good (hence the title). Almost 2 years ago we worked together, not on a regular basis, but we did correspond through email, phone calls, and once or twice when I traveled to her city. On one trip we were talking and she asked me if I was able to go out with her that night. I was easily pursuaded to go with her, trust me it didn't take much discussion to convince me. We had always flirted with each other when we talked, and the sexual tension was easily noticable.

We wound up going to her sisters house to play scrabble. Sounds exciting right? I actually enjoy playing scrabble, it is probably my favorite board game. We played, got drunk and were having a great time when she proclaimed to everyone in the room "OK it's time to go the night is young and we gotta fuck". I could almost feel myself jumping for joy, but I did manage to contain my enthusiasm long enough to make it out the front door. I did have to endure a lecture by her sister on breaking the heart of a newly divorced woman, which was quite an uncomfortable conversation to have.

We walked to her house. I remember the walk being an incredibly long one, but she was only a few houses away. We walked into her house, and she gave me the nickel tour of her house, including her bedroom, where she ended the tour. The normal fooling around ensued and soon enough we were screwing on every surface of her bedroom. It was great. She was very experienced, knew exactly what she wanted and was very eager to please me.

To make a very long story short, the better part of an hour later I had her at the foot of her bed while I jerked of in her mouth, and she had a vibrator shoved as far up as it would possibly go. Just as I was about to blow, her bedroom door opened up.

Her kids.

One of her twin fourteen year old daughters were standing in the door, the other I could see poking her head out of their room. My jaw must have hit the floor as I came. I just stood there completely motionless as I tried to digest what was going on. I just stood there fully erect finishing on their mom. She just started to yell at them. I don't know what she said, but I will never forget the look on her kids face as their mom scrambled to close the door. They had a look of horror, like they had just seen death.

After we had regained our privacy, or as much privacy as two teenage girls who had just seen their mom take a load in her mouth would give us. I apologized, said a few quick words along the lines of "I gotta go" collected my clothes and ran for the door. I don't think I have ever been that embaresed in my life. the worst part was hearing them lecture me and their mother as I made a mad dash for the door. I ran all the way back to her sisters house, jumped in my car and started to drive. Realizing that I was still drunk I pulled over parked the car and called her back.

That was honestly the most embarresing moment of my life.



It actually sounds worse than it was, what had actually happened was that we drank too much, went back to her house like a pair of drunken fools, woken her kids up on the way into the house, and her kids had heard us in our drunken escapades, and walked in. We over reacted. She started to yell, and I freaked out and ran.

When it all goes bad

WARNING - If you don't want to read about some bad sex just stop here and go back.



This morning I wrote an entry for TMI Tuesday. Without really thinking about it I wrote about a sexual experience I had a few years ago. My cousin came to stay with me for a long weekend of skiing, and she brought a friend with her. We had a great time, stayed in an apartment in the Poconos. The skiing was great, although they both sucked at it and I had to really take it easy so I wouldn't loose them.

Our last night there we drank a little, not much at all really. But as things would have it we started to fool around. My cousin got the idea real fast and left us alone. Lots of kissing and touching and feeling. I pulled her pants off on with the full intention of eating her out.

She was in good shape, I could tell by her body that she worked out, she was tone, not muscular, but tone. She definitely took care of herself, and she had an incredible body, and she was great at flirting, and even better at foreplay.

I had her pants off and all she was wearing was a pair of undies. I kissed her legs on my way back up. I pulled the only garment she had left. I think that at that exact moment was the most disappointing moment of my life. I could not believe the tangle of hair ahead of me. Now I don't mind hair, in fact a little hair can be good, but it has got to be trimmed, shaven, shortened, something.

I had already abandoned my original oral plan, it just was not in the cards anymore, I love to lick pussy, but it has to be taken care of. So I moved on to plan B, sex. I moved back up and inserted myself into her. It was bad, in fact it was downright terrible. I just could not get over the fact that I could feel her pubic hair wrap itself around my dick. It was like a brillo pad, and it itched.

I was so disgusted by it that after a minute, and what seemed like an eternity, I had had enough. I just stopped, pulled out and jumped at the first towel I saw. I made believe that I finished in the towel. I sat on the end of the bed with a raging hard on, a beautiful, willing, and quite naked girl next to me, and I didn't want to touch her.

It wouldn't go down.

Nothing I did would make it go down. I could have fucked her for hours, and I had no motivation. It was the worst sex of my life, and I faked it.



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There really is more to the story than that. But for the sake of actually telling what happened that's it. But...

After she realized that I wasn't going down, she practically begged for another go. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It really was that bad. After *her* bad experience, the rumor mill among my cousins circle of friends was that I was terrible. It was basically the scarlet letter for that incredibly beautiful group of girls and for a few years I couldn't get any of them to even look at me.

When my cousin got married I was an usher, and HPG was a bridesmaid. You could see the tension between us a mile away, and my cousin, being nosey, begged me to finally tell what happened between the two of us. So I did. She broke out laughing about it, then at the after party she drank too much and started telling the story over and over.

And for HPG, it stands for Hairy Pussy Girl, as I have referred to her ever since. Yes ladies, please, please, do anything, just please don't let your bush turn into a forest.