Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The mishaps of my sexual life - Part 1

So this week is turning out pretty much like the last one. To be blunt, I ain't gettin none! I am away again for work, this time in the wonderful south, my wife is home, and I am alone. I did have plans to have a friend over, but she hasn't called me back since I told her I would be staying near her last week. She asked me to call her when I got in, but she has not answered or called me back.

We did sleep together once, and it was mostly good (hence the title). Almost 2 years ago we worked together, not on a regular basis, but we did correspond through email, phone calls, and once or twice when I traveled to her city. On one trip we were talking and she asked me if I was able to go out with her that night. I was easily pursuaded to go with her, trust me it didn't take much discussion to convince me. We had always flirted with each other when we talked, and the sexual tension was easily noticable.

We wound up going to her sisters house to play scrabble. Sounds exciting right? I actually enjoy playing scrabble, it is probably my favorite board game. We played, got drunk and were having a great time when she proclaimed to everyone in the room "OK it's time to go the night is young and we gotta fuck". I could almost feel myself jumping for joy, but I did manage to contain my enthusiasm long enough to make it out the front door. I did have to endure a lecture by her sister on breaking the heart of a newly divorced woman, which was quite an uncomfortable conversation to have.

We walked to her house. I remember the walk being an incredibly long one, but she was only a few houses away. We walked into her house, and she gave me the nickel tour of her house, including her bedroom, where she ended the tour. The normal fooling around ensued and soon enough we were screwing on every surface of her bedroom. It was great. She was very experienced, knew exactly what she wanted and was very eager to please me.

To make a very long story short, the better part of an hour later I had her at the foot of her bed while I jerked of in her mouth, and she had a vibrator shoved as far up as it would possibly go. Just as I was about to blow, her bedroom door opened up.

Her kids.

One of her twin fourteen year old daughters were standing in the door, the other I could see poking her head out of their room. My jaw must have hit the floor as I came. I just stood there completely motionless as I tried to digest what was going on. I just stood there fully erect finishing on their mom. She just started to yell at them. I don't know what she said, but I will never forget the look on her kids face as their mom scrambled to close the door. They had a look of horror, like they had just seen death.

After we had regained our privacy, or as much privacy as two teenage girls who had just seen their mom take a load in her mouth would give us. I apologized, said a few quick words along the lines of "I gotta go" collected my clothes and ran for the door. I don't think I have ever been that embaresed in my life. the worst part was hearing them lecture me and their mother as I made a mad dash for the door. I ran all the way back to her sisters house, jumped in my car and started to drive. Realizing that I was still drunk I pulled over parked the car and called her back.

That was honestly the most embarresing moment of my life.

It actually sounds worse than it was, what had actually happened was that we drank too much, went back to her house like a pair of drunken fools, woken her kids up on the way into the house, and her kids had heard us in our drunken escapades, and walked in. We over reacted. She started to yell, and I freaked out and ran.


I like big butts said...

Those poor kids...they will always remember that...

Angel said...

OMG! No, I think it is as bad as it sounds! How horrifying! Yet, still kind of funny.. No wonder the girl hasn't called you back, she prolly had a flashback!

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious! And terrible. I agree with Angel-- not so surprised she hasn't called.

FABULOUS story!!

Lilly said...

oh wow, thats um....yeah. Mortifying. Those poor kids. Shit I found a box of condoms once and was scarred for life!!!

The World is a Playground said...

Those poor kids? How about poor me? I was scared out of my mind.

Lilly said...

*grins* Comes with the territory, little boy.

Meanwhile those kids just saw something that can't be unseen, lol. And poor mama is the one who had to clean up the mess!